Momentous Day

This blog is definitely not the fun, Nolan-house antics kind of blog, so for that I apologize. But it's here for me to put down what's going on and here's what's going on today.
Last week we got a phone call that Wednesday, August 20th they would be doing a ribbon cutting and renaming the new tennis complex and calling it the John G. Maroney Tennis Comlex. Ironically my dad was NOT a tennis player - but it was the last big project he as working on for the city when he died in October. That news has given me some ups and downs each day since finding out. In some ways, since the fog and shock have lifted from his actual death, the events of today were harder to get through for me than the actual visitation and funeral. Back then I was still in such a state of shock I was able to hold myself together. But I haven't done such a good job of that the last few days, especially today.
It was rainy today, just like the day we buried him. And just like that day,there were plenty of faces in the crowd that i knew were there JUST for me. But it was hard - makes it more real when they name something after you not because you funded it like a building on campus, but because you worked tirelessly and died unexpectedly.
Up and down, that's how the last few days have been. And today it would have been easier if I could have just come home and put on PJ's and laid around all day, but John Brady and Nancy Claire didn't exactly nap. So we left this afternoon and took Yancey for a haircut.
Today at the ceremony, someone passed on to me the DVD's of the actual memorial service. It was hard to watch and I couldn't do it in one sitting. Surprisingly difficult was watching Jonathon sing - he was our most incredible worship pastor who left in the winter. That week had been difficult for him too as he had led worship for another service the day before, the service for my friends. Their three month old son passed away from SIDS. So he walked through two really dark days with our families. Those days were really dark for some of us - but there was so much light, too.
I couldn't possibly look back at those days and not think of all my precious friends - some of whom I never really realized that they cared about me until their open demonstrations of love in those immediate days.
I look back at some of the incredible displays of love and I am overwhelmed. I have this one friend who gathered so many things from our LIFE group, paper goods, chips, snacks,drinks,etc. and still had sandwich trays made and delivered them - on top of the fact that she just came to my house, unplugged my dictation machines and moved them to her house and did all my work for me for at least two weeks.
Another one of my friends took on the task of feeding everyone the night of the visitation up at the church. But this friend does NOTHING without excellence. So not only was there a full spread, everything was laid out, labeled very creatively, and DELICIOUS (I still need some of those cookies!!)
I could go on - there were people from where my husband works now, from where he used to work, friends i had not seen since high school, friends who newborns, i mean 2 weeks old, that showed up to give me support. I had a friend who literally had walking pneumonia and came to see me. People waited in long lines just to walk up and let me know they were there.
That's DOING LIFE TOGETHER - That's what having a Christ-centered Family/Fellowship is all about.
I had two other friends who took it upon themselves to make sure that my sister and i had no concerns at all about childcare during the visitation and the funeral service. And another friend who was the pinch hitter for those two at the end.
I heard from just about every pastor on staff at our church that week - some of them I may not have talked to but they got in touch with Yancey. They called to pray with and for me, they came to my house to pray with me, they showed up before the service to pray with me.
But the thing that makes the biggest impression on me is that on the night he died, as I drove and drove, not knowing where I was driving but coming tothe realization of what I was driving to,they called and called and prayed with me on the phone. I was not alone one moment on that dark road - that dark road that I didn't know. God got me down that road - and NEVER left me alone. And He's getting me down this road too.
For those who've never lost anyone really close to them, they say it takes 18 months to really grieve - i am at 10 months now and I feel that my grieving now is much harder than it was 6 months ago. The pain I felt today seemed more painful than it did October 13-18th. Every milestone brings its own pain. Nancy Claire's birthday was significant -last year her party was the first and unfortunately the last birthday party he would ever attend of my children's.
God has given me so much in the last few days to let me know how THERE He really is for me right now. And I know he is. And right now I think it's time I just go cuddle up and go to sleep with His arms around me.
Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
Daddy, sweet Daddy,
I still miss you.....